National Stuttering Awareness Week

This week is National Stuttering Awareness Week, and I thought I'd do a post about stuttering because one of my best friends sometimes stutters. Before I met him, I'd never known anyone who stuttered and as such I never thought about it. It just never entered my mind. As I got to know him, it became something that I felt strongly about both because I knew him and because of other people's reactions to it.

The first day I met him was in drama class and he was my first improv partner. He had to say the name of a dinosaur which I don't think I could even pronounce, and he stuttered. Even though it took him awhile to say the word, it never occurred to me to do anything but let him finish saying it. Why would I do anything else? "I stutter sometimes. Let me finish." This is one of the most important things when it comes to someone who stutters. What is your reason for wanting to finish their sentences or trying to "help" them not stutter? Impatience is one. In our fast-paced society, everyone is always in a hurry, even in conversation. Conversation should be meaningful and slow, something that we take time with. Being friends with someone who stutters has taught me patience and the value of listening. I'm not a patient person, and I regretfully admit that I have finished his words for him sometimes. I have always hated myself after I do it. My friend is an intelligent person. I should listen to him say what he wants to say because his words have worth and meaning. Most of the time. Sometimes he's just a goofball. Just because someone stutters doesn't mean they're stupid or inarticulate. Listen to what is said, not how it is said.

I think it was my first drama performance that my grandparents came to, and afterwards they mentioned the guy who stuttered. I remember that it made me so mad that all they could see was his stutter. How could they not see his awesome acting ability instead? Why do we always focus on what's "different" with people? Why don't we only see the talents and traits that make them unique and wonderful? People who stutter are not weak or impaired. I cannot imagine the guts that it would take to perform and speak in front of people with a stutter and seemingly not care what people think of it. I know that I would not have the courage or strength to do it. I would hide and avoid any instance of speaking in front of people. I'd be quiet in conversation. But my friend doesn't do that. He does what he's passionate about, and doesn't let his stutter stop him. He lets his thoughts and opinions be known. People who stutter still have dreams and goals and things they want to achieve and it's our job as people who care about them to support and encourage them in that.

I know that it can sometimes be awkward to interact with someone who has a stutter or something similar. At first, I couldn't maintain eye contact with him when he stuttered. But now that we are good friends, whenever he stutters, I simply keep looking at him and wait for him to finish. If we allow ourselves to be chained by a stereotype or a misconception or an inability to push past our own awkwardness, we could miss out on knowing some amazing people. The simple truth about someone who stutters is that they should be treated like everyone else. Why would you treat them any differently just because they stutter? Why would the stutter matter?

I met my friend almost four years ago, and in that time, he has gotten so much better with his stutter. He hardly stutters at all now. But you know what? I hardly noticed that change. I hardly noticed because his stutter never defined him. He is a godly, confident, kind, funny, and talented individual and that has nothing to do with his stutter.

Even though I don't say his name, I want him and everyone who reads this to know just how proud I am of him,  and his accomplishments, and his perseverance/hard work. And I am proud to be his friend.

~Clarissa